shwash 108 Posted January 11, 2018 IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME! BUT I HAVE RETURNED! ENJOY MY LATEST SCAMMER SHITPOST! So my latest gag was a request! Whilst on xG's Trade Gaming History server, I was added by this gentleman that has absolutely no connections that would result in me adding him. Upon receiving this request, I asked the server what impersonation should I take. I got a couple good requests, but one of them was "instead of offering items, offer used cars." I could NOT say no to such a genius idea. *Forewarning: I am many things, but I am not a person who knows a lot about cars. Please forgive my poor impersonation.* So it starts out with this gentleman following the "Random-add scammer phrase checklist" such as asking if I am a trader AFTER adding me and offering unusuals from another person's account. Although I would not really call myself a trader, for the purposes of this charade, I have decided to masquerade as one. I play my role to a T, and he does the unthinkable, HE DOES NOT ASK FOR MY UNUSUAL. Now I have been doing this for a long time, but I have never EVER had someone ask for anything but my Unusual Stovepipe. He did ask for austrailiums, but that wasn't going to be my initial offer, no no no. I start him off on some of my more mediocre wares. I have had this Kia Spectra for a while*, and it was cluttering my garage**. I was okay with letting it go. I go on to immediately regret that and backpedal a bit to a different car. *I do not have that car **My garage is filled with tools that I rarely use, not cars At first, he is confused. Does he not know how the barter of automobiles is performed? What an amatuer. So he goes on to speak Filipino, and I shamelessly open a tab in Google Translate. He opens with obscenities, and proceeds to call me a devil. I give the obvious response. I mean, car salesmen are stereotyped to be sleazy ass droplets, but it does not mean I am under that same, smelly umbrella. He keeps this up for a bit, so I (professionally) request him to gather himself so we can continue negotiating. I give him a few minutes, and ask him if negotiations can continue. He does not respond. I give him a countdown to respond so I can gauge his interest. I already wasted to much time on him. A busy car salesman*** such as myself shouldn't be wasting his valuable seconds on people who aren't willing to conduct business. The clock runs fully, and I am still met with silence. A bit nettled, I say a backhanded statement and proceed to block and unfriend him. I probably wasn't going to go through with it anyways. If he lived in the Philippines, the paperwork and fees to send that car over would be to costly. ***I am not a salesman, I hope no one thinks I am Well, that's the end. See you next time, and I promise, there will be a next time. 1 1 Tatost and TBOHB reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Goblins 580 Posted January 11, 2018 "I have Kia Spectra with 4 horsepower and 6 cylinder engine." Winner. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
james8470 160 Posted January 12, 2018 IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME! BUT I HAVE RETURNED! ENJOY MY LATEST SCAMMER SHITPOST! So my latest gag was a request! Whilst on xG's Trade Gaming History server, I was added by this gentleman that has absolutely no connections that would result in me adding him. Upon receiving this request, I asked the server what impersonation should I take. I got a couple good requests, but one of them was "instead of offering items, offer used cars." I could NOT say no to such a genius idea. *Forewarning: I am many things, but I am not a person who knows a lot about cars. Please forgive my poor impersonation.* [ATTACH]32913[/ATTACH] So it starts out with this gentleman following the "Random-add scammer phrase checklist" such as asking if I am a trader AFTER adding me and offering unusuals from another person's account. Although I would not really call myself a trader, for the purposes of this charade, I have decided to masquerade as one. I play my role to a T, and he does the unthinkable, HE DOES NOT ASK FOR MY UNUSUAL. Now I have been doing this for a long time, but I have never EVER had someone ask for anything but my Unusual Stovepipe. He did ask for austrailiums, but that wasn't going to be my initial offer, no no no. I start him off on some of my more mediocre wares. I have had this Kia Spectra for a while*, and it was cluttering my garage**. I was okay with letting it go. I go on to immediately regret that and backpedal a bit to a different car. *I do not have that car **My garage is filled with tools that I rarely use, not cars [ATTACH]32916[/ATTACH] At first, he is confused. Does he not know how the barter of automobiles is performed? What an amatuer. So he goes on to speak Filipino, and I shamelessly open a tab in Google Translate. He opens with obscenities, and proceeds to call me a devil. I give the obvious response. I mean, car salesmen are stereotyped to be sleazy ass droplets, but it does not mean I am under that same, smelly umbrella. He keeps this up for a bit, so I (professionally) request him to gather himself so we can continue negotiating. I give him a few minutes, and ask him if negotiations can continue. He does not respond. I give him a countdown to respond so I can gauge his interest. I already wasted to much time on him. A busy car salesman*** such as myself shouldn't be wasting his valuable seconds on people who aren't willing to conduct business. The clock runs fully, and I am still met with silence. A bit nettled, I say a backhanded statement and proceed to block and unfriend him. I probably wasn't going to go through with it anyways. If he lived in the Philippines, the paperwork and fees to send that car over would be to costly. ***I am not a salesman, I hope no one thinks I am Well, that's the end. See you next time, and I promise, there will be a next time. Ang shwash ay nakumpirma ng diyablo! Also, I have one of my own from waaaaaaayyyyy back. Credit goes to @Elcark for warning me about him, and sure enough a week later (I guess? it was a long time ago) I get added by him. He is truly the stupidest scammer I've ever had the pleasure of (not) dealing with. 1 TBOHB reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Emmy 0 Posted January 14, 2018 im so confused >~< whats happening here >~< 1 james8470 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tatost 604 Posted January 14, 2018 im so confused >~< whats happening here >~< we're making fun of dumb as shit scammers 1 james8470 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shwash 108 Posted January 14, 2018 im so confused >~< whats happening here >~< This is a collection of people messing with scammers that randomly added them. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Emmy 0 Posted January 15, 2018 ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh okay x3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
james8470 160 Posted January 18, 2018 Aggress to send me a copy of Pokemon Ultra Sun/Moon in exchange for my unusual. ;) Also guys, sadly this impersonator is being "bought and sold". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TBOHB 74 Posted January 21, 2018 This guy isn't a scammer but I thought it was kinda funny. Also he never stated the real reason why he added me. 1 james8470 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shwash 108 Posted January 21, 2018 This guy isn't a scammer but I thought it was kinda funny. Also he never stated the real reason why he added me. [ATTACH]32998[/ATTACH] It's pretty obvious man, he needed to get rid of his AIDS 1 1 TBOHB and james8470 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shwash 108 Posted February 17, 2018 I BRING SIGNS OF A GOOD HARVEST, FOR I HAVE A BRILLIANT IDEA ON HOW TO MESS WITH PEOPLE. Three scammers added me in the last 2 days I have an idea that already flopped on one of them, but I am thinking of perfecting it on the other two, and I need xG's advice on this. So if you ever played old school text adventure games like Zork, that is essentially what I am trying. The idea is that I respond in a similar format as one of those games, and NEVER break character. Here is my first test run: Dark Chicken Gaming was oblivious. I am thinking after the first failed attempt, I add in a "please type help for a list of commands" or something. Give me your thoughts! 1 yesstergi reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
WubbaLubbaDubDu 40 Posted March 23, 2018 Might be out of order. But, this guy decided to try to by my Ushanka. Gave me a fishy link. Unfriended him. AND HE ADDED ME AGAIN AND TRIED TO GIVE ME THE SAME LINK Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TBOHB 74 Posted June 25, 2018 imma revive this thread a little bit https://imgur.com/a/MGuqukY 1 shwash reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deko 16 Posted June 29, 2018 I had talked to another person about this scam method before. This is mostly to raise awareness of this new method (although mostly common sense). Just check their inventory and games you should be fine. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TBOHB 74 Posted June 29, 2018 1 hour ago, Deko said: I had talked to another person about this scam method before. This is mostly to raise awareness of this new method (although mostly common sense). Just check their inventory and games you should be fine. I just had one of these guys yesterday lol. I'm like "this is a new one" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
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