What's on my mind

[ProjectXenome 17]

I've would have written this as a status rather than an entire topic but couldn't be able to find out how to write a status anywhere on this website. I guess this is a vent of sorts. Recently I feel like I've just been unreasonably bitter towards some friends and what's going on in their lives. Seeing and hearing of their successes and events they plan where I'm just sitting back lazily without doing anything with my life. These are people I spent years with and known for so long throughout my life. Seeing them go about their lives and actually doing things just gives me this sick feeling in my chest and I just feel frustration for no clear reason. I should be happy that their actually progressing and doing things but I just feel bitterness.

I think it's because I know that I myself aren't doing anything, being lazy, not making any effort to make any friends or do anything to help progress anything in my life. Maybe I just feel angry because they are actually doing something and living a normal life that I never really got a chance to experience due to my parents. These feelings are probably just my fault and I should try to do better. I should try to pull myself out of the depression and resent I feel and do something I will be proud of and help me into my life as an adult. But it's been so hard to feel anything other than lethargic.

It's been hard to continue everyday as is. I just wake up everyday with the same feeling of disinterest and lack of motivation for anything. I've been loosing interest in a lot of things, even video games which I spent most of my time doing over so many other things. It's been hard to find any reason to get out of bed. I almost just want it all to stop, I don't have any interest and continuing with the rest of my life and I just want it to stop so I don't have to feel anything anymore. So all the present pain, past pain, and my mundane future will all cease.

That's all I have to say for now. Sorry if this isn't allowed here. Sorry for the edgy post in general.

[FrostyBoiGrim 17]

Hey man, idk what to do exactly but this is what I have been doing: 

So as many of you know I'm 15 and in high school, but i also weigh 265 pounds. Im a strong, tall, large framed person, but i also have lots of extra fat. As a depressive and an externally motivated person, its hard to get in shape. My dad is also depressed (on a much worse level) and is externally motivated. To get around our problems we motivate each other. Through this I've started a workout routine and am working to get into shape. Mu recommendation is that you find someone who can help you, and you work with them to help boost yourself back up. Its never easy but its always worth it.

[ProjectXenome 17]

12 hours ago, FrostyBoiGrim said:

Hey man, idk what to do exactly but this is what I have been doing: 

So as many of you know I'm 15 and in high school, but i also weigh 265 pounds. Im a strong, tall, large framed person, but i also have lots of extra fat. As a depressive and an externally motivated person, its hard to get in shape. My dad is also depressed (on a much worse level) and is externally motivated. To get around our problems we motivate each other. Through this I've started a workout routine and am working to get into shape. Mu recommendation is that you find someone who can help you, and you work with them to help boost yourself back up. Its never easy but its always worth it.

Thanks. I will keep that in mind and I will try to take your advice. 

[EDNight 25]

I can agree with Frosty, you don't have to find a lot of people, but even just one person to help lift you up and make you feel good really can make a difference.

 

As hard as it may seem right now, try to find some sort of hobby, preferably something where you can see your progress as it happens. Creating something and seeing that you made it may help you feel better. 

 

Also, if you ever need someone to talk to and just vent, you can message me Xeno, I don't like to see anyone going through this sort of situation because I was in a similar place not long ago and it sucked.