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Hello everyone. 

So I'm sure that some of you are aware of my dip in activity recently. Well, I wouldn't say it's a dip, it's been on a slow decline for the past few months. I feel like I owe a bit of an explanation to those who've been wondering where I've been. Prepare yourselves, this is gonna be a long (and a bit ranty) one. However beforehand, I should give a small disclaimer: this is not meant to start drama with anyone, so please don't bring that shit here. Thanks.

First and foremost, if I'm being completely honest, I can't stand Team Fortress 2 anymore. I started to get bored of the game all the way back in August, and had a little dip in activity then as well, which resulted in a warning from Seg. I've tried so many things to keep the game fresh for me, but guys, there's only so much I can do. The game is so old at this point, and there's hardly ever any new content in the game. If there is, it's all just cosmetic. We haven't had a major gameplay update since the dumpster fire that was the Pyro Update a while back. And while yes, xG has a lot of fun community maps to enjoy, most of the time, you'll just be playing on the same 4 or 5 maps, with an occasional unpopular map in the mix. That's because I'd say about 70% of the maps on TGH and 50% of the maps on Surf are complete garbage, and can kill the server if we go to the wrong ones.

But even if you get rid of those maps, the best/most popular maps still get boring quickly because they're so overplayed. I've also come to the realization that I can't stand Surfing. Some of you may have already noticed, but I now only come on Surf if TGH is dead (which actually happens quite often nowadays) because I actually despise surfing. Just my opinion, it is the opposite of fun. All of this together has made TF2 almost a chore for me to play nowadays. I feel like my eyes are constantly watching the clock, waiting to see when I hit the one hour mark so I can stop playing TF2 and do something I actually enjoy.

Another reason I haven't been coming on as often is because (gasp, could it be the dreaded word??) drama. XG has always been a clan filled with its fair share of controversy and shit talking and all that, that's nothing new. I knew that coming in to xG, but I made myself swear that I would try not to get involved in it or cause any myself. Unfortunately, that's not always how it works, and more often than not, it found me. That's not to say I didn't always deserve it, I realize I've made some foolish choices over the years. But the point is that I've ended up in the crossfire of several disputes and controversies, and it's starting to get very, very, very old. I didn't want to let it get to me, but honestly it's so frustrating and my patience has run out with it. Just when it seems like one thing has finally died down, a new controversy suddenly flares up to take its place, and it starts all over again. 

Perhaps the thing I despise the most about this clan is (oh boy RANT TIME!!!) group drama. It's always been a thing, and while it has died down recently, I still believe it's a problem. Look, I get it, in life, there will always be cliques, and there will always be people who don't see eye to eye, that's fine. But I think most of it is just so fucking petty and easily avoidable. It's always two groups at cold war with each other until one person does something to a person in the other group or someone in a group gets in trouble on servers, and then suddenly, everyone has to take a side. Then you're either a "gay furry pedophile who kisses up to staff" or a "tryhard troll who doesn't like furries but plays here anyways for some reason" or some other dumb bullshit like that. It's even worse for me because I'm a mediator, so I always have friends on both sides, most of which who can't stand each other and talk mad shit behind each others backs. Most of you in this clan are over the age of 14, shape up and fucking act like it. This isn't middle school, if you don't like someone, be the better person and avoid them. Again, I don't care if you disagree with/dislike a certain person or group of people, that's fine. But you don't need to always be talking shit or picking fights or dumb shit like that. And I'm not aiming this at any one group, every group that I've been a part of has had people who do shit like this. I see not only our staff, but sometimes even our higherups doing this, like come on, grow up. 

*S i g h* I apologize, but I've wanted to say that for a lonnnnnnng time. These days, I've been finding myself losing sleep at night, thinking about what I'm going to do with xG. I fear losing all the friends I've made here, and worrying about how getting a second job will further affect my playtime. I kept telling myself that I can't leave, or I'll lose everything I've worked for here. But then every time I tell myself that I'm gonna be more active and work harder, a week later, my activity starts to dip again and my interest in the game falters. How long until I don't have any more chances to improve my activity? How long until I just become known as another one of the Admins who got demoted for inactivity? Why should I keep holding this staff slot when there are probably players who are far more active and far more deserving of it than me? I figure... maybe it's just best that I bite the bullet. It pains me to say it, really it does, but maybe it's just time for me to move on.

I think I'm going to step down, and take a break from TF2 for a while. I'm not going to quit it forever, nor am I never going to come back to xG, but for now, I need a break. I just have too much on my mind right now, since I am turning 21 soon and I need to be looking towards the future. I want to be spending what free time I have left doing things that make me happy, and make me feel good, and TF2 just doesn't do either of those things for me anymore. I'm sorry to everyone I'm disappointing by making this, but I think it's for the best.

I don't wanna end this on a negative note though. Over the last couple years I've spent here in xG, I've had some great laughs, and made a lot of greater friends. I've learned a few things and learned to improve not only as a staff member, but as a person too. And so I'd like to take some time to thank those of you who made my time here so enjoyable.

To Krampus: Thank you for always being a great friend. I don't care about what anyone else says about you, you've always been good to me and I thank you for that. I hope everything works out well for you and Grape. ?

To Semper: I'm glad I got to meet you and become friends with you, you're really funny and sweet. I would give you all of my tendies if I could. ? 

To Nutty: Thank you for being a chill DL and a good friend. Tell Pichu I said hi. ? 

To Kypari: Thank you for helping me improve when I faltered. I do hope things get better for you, and I hope we can talk again sometime soon. I wish the best for you and your brother :3

To Tekage: helo

To Elcark: I don't know if you'll ever see this, but thank you for getting me back into xG. I never would have gotten back into the game had it not been for your kindness and friendliness. I wouldn't have met anyone here I know today without you. Thank you.

To Seg: Thanks for being so chill and friendly. I hope you only continue to improve as a DL. ? 

To Caleb: I'm not sure why, but honestly I was super afraid of you when I first became a staff member. Maybe it was a rumor I heard, but anyways, I'm glad we met. You are a really funny guy and I believe you can change xG for the better. ? 

To Bonfire: Okay it might seem weird for me to mention you here since we aren't really that close but when I first came to xG, I kinda looked up to you and saw you as a good staff member. I wanted to be in your position someday. Thank you for being an inspiration. (also everyone stop calling him gay bonfire gaming or i bite grrr)

To Hyper Wolf: Thanks for being a cool dudebro, best of luck to you :3

To everyone else that I couldn't name because this post is long enough already: Thank you all for all of the great times you've given me. My time here at xG has had its ups and downs, but for the most part, I really did enjoy my time here. I wish the best for all of you, and I hope we can all still be friends after I leave. May we meet again, either in discord playing games together, or in xG if I ever decide to come and visit again. 

Peace out. ✌️

-Precious.

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I hope where ever the future takes you goes well. Perhaps you will come back someday. I can agree with what you said for sure about drama, hopefully we can see improvement soon

Good luck and be well!

 ~Queen

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Best of luck to you in life's ventures man, I completely understand. Let me know if you ever wanna hang or play some games! I'll miss you being around as much!

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3 hours ago, Precious said:

To Tekage: helo

Honestly, that brought a tear to my eye. ?

 

 

For real though, I'm sad to see you go. You're always welcome back and it has been made clear that this drama is becoming a much more serious issue than previously thought. We will deal with this. Hopefully, when you do come back, TF2 won't be such a dead game (LOL OK TEK)

Best of luck, mate.

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Damn dude. Sorry to see you go. I enjoyed the times I had with you. I won't forget how we were buddies when we got mod at the same time. Even though I haven't really seen you that much, I enjoyed the time I spent with you ❤️

If you ever want to play smthin w/ me you can always PM me on steam

ily ❤️

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While not caused by nearly as stressful of a situation, I'm on a break from xG and TF2 just like you. Only found out about this thread because Cyanide told me about it. While I didn't see you as much as other Mods/Admins/DL's/etc, I'll say that you were pretty chill when I was on, and it's sad to see anybody leave anything. Good luck in whatever you do man, cheers.
(P.S. I'll call bonfire whatever I want dammit)

While I'm here just gonna say I'm not gonna be on the forums for a while, I won't get into why, don't want to start drama, but I thought I'd bring up regardless. Again, cheers.

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Rip had some great times hanging out with you, gonna miss you a lot man and I hope to see you again in the future if you come on ?

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