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Tatost

Rising epidemic of harassment

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Although harassment is not something unknown to the community prior to this post, I thought I would reflect on the state of the problem as it currently stands. This thread will make me seem even more like a high school counselor, which I really couldn't care less about.

Harassment generally goes hand-in-hand with drama, which @Caleb956 explained perfectly in his recent thread. (See below)

On 1/25/2019 at 7:29 PM, Caleb956 said:

Drama

 

Between several servers, different discords, groups, there has been on common theme between all of them.  That theme, is the absolute inability of people to get along with other people that have opposing views, creating drama.  There are times that a simple discussion turns into an absolute shitfest for no reason at all, and fuel must be added to the fire no matter what in order to fit each person's own narrative.  There are also times when people are constantly mocked on the servers for one reason or another, and when they ask the person who is doing it to the stop the response is usually “get over it” or “just local mute them”.  How is that a solution we should be enforcing at all? If people are mocking someone just to annoy them, or get a reaction, or whatever other reason, it is harassment, and should be handled as such.  When things are agreed upon and finished, it doesn’t come lightly, it comes when one person steps in and says let's get this done with, almost as if the two opposing parties are unable to even communicate without being at each others throats, let alone negotiate, unless a third party steps in.  It’s time to brighten up and get along with each other.


 

You may be asking, “why is this a problem?” Or you may be rolling your eyes at this point, well I'm directing this at everyone.  With the rate of how things are going, these servers we love to play on could very well be dead sooner than any of us think if something doesn’t change.  If that doesn’t concern you can you really call yourself a community member? It's all of our jobs to not only maintain the servers, and not only to play on the servers, but the most important job of all of us, is to have fun playing on the servers, not only for ourselves but for others.  We all represent xG, even if you aren’t a part of the clan, when you are playing on the servers, talking on the forums, or in the discord, you are representing xG and who we are as a clan.  Do we really want drama to be the thing that defines us when people look at the clan? Do we really want people to walk away because of it? I know I don't, and I sure hope you don’t either.  It doesn’t matter if “it's just online”, everyone here is a real person, with feelings of their own, we aren't built the same, and we weren't built to handle emotions the same as the next person.  If someone has a problem with how you act towards them, or how you treat them, then it's time to lighten up and be considerate for other people's feelings. As is such with the Castroy situation, he is repeatedly mocked with a phrase that is very well known to hurt him, but it is continued anyways because those doing it like seeing the reaction, or seeing that it annoys him.

Quite recently I've seen certain players/members being harassed over complete bullshit. As someone who was previously kicked out of the community entirely, I find it infuriating that staff members haven't been cracking down on the people who do it on the daily. Some specific examples of harassment going on in both CS and TF2 would be the situations surrounding @DepressedNeonNepp and @Lottamos. People constantly throw their names around as insults or attempt to troll them to the point where they will get angry, leave the server/community for x amount of time. I won't call out specific names, but I've seen plenty of members and staff partaking in these sorts of activities. As I said previously, we're a gaming community, not an exclusive club. Make people feel welcome. Please stop trying to push people out of the community.

You can never really get to know a person if you constantly harass them. For example, when people pick on Nep they portray him as this toxic little asshole when he really isn't. I've seen him a few times on the CS surf server (albeit he was under an alias at the time) and he was a genuinely enjoyable person. Now, I know school shooters are kind of a touchy subject on here, but I'd like to use a TEDx Talk to illustrate my point that being kind to someone can keep them from making bad decisions. If I cross some sort of line linking the video, I can understand and invite any forum staff to go ahead and cut out this section of my rant.

Although I highly encourage everyone to both read the entirety of my post and watch the entire video, I'll insert a TL;DR.

TL;DR - This community is plagued with members, staff and random players that can't seem to control themselves when it comes to harassing another person online. The argument that this is the internet and you shouldn't take anything seriously is complete horseshit, stop using it. Please be kind to other players instead of antagonizing them over nothing. Staff members need to start cracking down on this sort of behavior, be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.

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People just don't care about the effect their words are going to have on someone else. Even myself, little things that people say that really shouldn't mean much get to me and can really sour my mood.

Whether it's Goldfish or just a random on the server, anytime someone is taking it too far I shut it down as fast as I can because I know how damaging it can be for people to just constantly harass you. This is especially true for people that do it because they think being mean to someone is cool or will make other people like them.

Now, this isn't to say that you should be taking a little bit of trash talk or banter as harassment. That will always be a part of the game. It's harassment when they're personally targeting and insulting you - that is the problem. 

Think about what you say before you say it. There's a reason that the saying "treat others the way you want to be treated" is thrown around so much.

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25 minutes ago, Tatost said:

The argument that this is the internet and you shouldn't take anything seriously is complete horseshit, stop using it. Please be kind to other players instead of antagonizing them over nothing.

This. It bothers me so much when people say shit like "it's just a game" or "it's just the internet". People still have fucking feelings, we're all real people behind real screens.

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6 minutes ago, Kypari said:

This. It bothers me so much when people say shit like "it's just a game" or "it's just the internet". People still have fucking feelings, we're all real people behind real screens.

This indeed. I came to xG from a Minecraft community that I was totally addicted to. It broke my heart when I was harshly kicked out suddenly under mostly false pretenses (I was in fact disrespecting staff). I don't think I'd ever been more insulted and hurt in my life, with the exception of my mother's death.

That being said I agree with @Bonk. What @Semper said is too simplistic.

And what divisions/servers/platforms (discord/forums) is the bullying taking place the most @Tatost, because I rarely ever see anyone getting harassed. 

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6 minutes ago, james8470 said:

And what divisions/servers/platforms (discord/forums) is the bullying taking place the most @Tatost, because I rarely ever see anyone getting harassed. 

I see it in both CS and TF2, hence why I provided some examples from both divisions. I only used those two as examples because they're widely known.

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I think we should just stop being dicks to each others. Some people have different opinions and thats ok. Sadly, a lot of people don't understand that nowadays, but the amount of hate that gets thrown around because one likes strawberry over vanilla (exaggerated for effect. you get the point) is incredible.

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This is one of the biggest problems plaguing xG right now, more on the servers than here, I’m glad that someone’s making a post about this finally.

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Harassment has always been a huge issue, just taking someones name and using it as an insult is not okay. Sure everyone has those snaps of rage and say something once that they regret but if you are a normal human then you apologize for it. If you don't then you shouldn't even have the right to be online. Just full on harassing people shows a lack of a brain and a lack of heart. It always pains me to see this happening that's why I have as of lately been cracking down much harder on people saying rude things to each other and throwing people under the bus or taking behind someones back as it can really effect someones mental state and can actually impact another persons life so hard to the point where they go mentally insane, thinking nothing is worth it and ending up doing something I don't wish to discuss. The sad part of it too that all of this is because a joke is being carried much to far, and it could all be stopped by an apology and ensuring to not do it again. Along with that there are places to go if you are getting harassed, go to a friend or family and talk with them about it, a huge weight will be lifted off your chest, and I want to say myself that I am always here for anyone if they want to talk or to get something off their chest, that's what I am here for. To help. If you are being harassed taking action and go get help and talk with friends about it, and a solution will always come. I won't lie I have been harassed before and I went to my friends and got the help I needed, they reassured me and helped me through everything, we came up with the idea to peer pressure the harasser into making him regret his choice to harass, be it its not the most peaceful way to do it but it stopped.

In conclusion, harassment should be cracked down much harder on servers and if you are getting harassed go to someone and get help, go to a higher up and tell them what is happening as I can promise you that they can help, many people can help, just say it and things will improve, I kinda went off topic but you get what I mean, thank you @Tatost for making this post, I appreciate it, and I am sure many others do as well.

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I appreciate it, i’m used to getting a lot of harassment and it makes me feel better to see that some people do kinda care. I feel like if you are regularly harassed you have no reason to change cause no one cares and they just harass you. Cutting down on harassment could change a lot of undesirable things from the server is I guess what I’m trying to get at. Anyway thanks tatost for making this.

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10 hours ago, Lean said:

That’s too many words I’m not reading that

Same, I believe I got to stop drinking chocolate milk for a while.guggy.gif

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