Repent sinners to your pastafarian gods.

[Fuzz 0]

Repent Sinners to your almighty Pastafarian Gods.

 

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How dare any of you turn your back on the one and only true Messiah, the Flying Spaghetti Monster? He has looked over us for centuries and you ignore his presence?

SHAME ON YOU.

 

I am willing to help you, sinners, in your conversion to your controversial religions giving you false hopes of a salvation from evil. Only your flying spaghetti monster can save you. Catholics, Protestants, Jewish, Hindu, and Islamic religions are wrong and have tainted you in the name of Spaghetti! REPENT. NOW.

 

You should know the Pros of converting.

 

1. He's actually real

2. Did all of Jesus's works, while hopping on ONE foot.

3. Has some huge meatballs

4. Will promise you spaghetti in the next life.

5. IS FUCKING REAL.

 

Now sinners, will you bow down to your almighty spaghetti Christ, or suffer the ultimate price, eternal happiness?

 

Let us Pray.

 

Now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray the Noodles my soul to keep,

If I shall die before I wake,

I pray the Spaghetti my soul to take.

Amen.

 

Hail Pasta full of grace,

The Sauce is with thee.

Blessed art thou amongst Noodles,

and blessed is the butter of thy bowl,

Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Holy Pasta, Mother of Noodles,

pray for us sinners,

now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

[zPlooChi 1]

I am converted! Praise the almight spaghetti monster!

[MuffinMonster 4]

Amen, brother.

[zPlooChi 1]

Amen

[PapiChulo 7]

You have something extremely wrong with you.

[Duplolas 1]

Im alergic to pasta.

[Forest 309]

I found this offensive in many ways.

...

Yet why did I end up laughing.