×
  • Sign In

    • Sign In



    Or sign in with one of these services

  • Sign Up
Jump to content

SpermytheCat

Friend of xG
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Content Count

    218

  • Joined

  • Days Won

    4

Posts posted by SpermytheCat

  7. Posted

    Hi. My name is Herman Kollingfeld and I'm 19 years old. When I was 12, Kony had full range because facebook hadn't alerted the government to his presence yet and I was kidnapped and brought to a Congonian mining shaft. On my 13th birthday, a mineshaft collapsed and I was trapped inside. I had to find a way to keep myself sane, so I crafted a laptop and wifi router out of blood, shit and stalactites. I downloaded Counter Strike and that's when I found you guys <3. Using my knowledge gained from watching @Bleed die over and over on jailbreak I learned how not to break out of my Congonian prison and then I just did the opposite and escaped with ease. I like pizza and ice cream <3 I also like to play video games but only PC because I'm not a scrub.

     

    Anyway just thought I'd say hi and share my story! :)))))))))))))))))))

  20. Posted

    To my left I see a lemon-scented candle, nothing is to my right. I take the lemon scented candle and greet the natives to try and devise a way off the island. I speak to one of the native women, who refuse to tell me the secret art of shark taming. Luckily, I light the scented candle, which immediately seduces her. She tries to hide it.

    "Spermy-kun!" she whimpers, "I-it's not like I like you or anything, b-baka...!"

    I immediately pitch my tent, not because of the native woman who is now biting her bra strap seductively, but because I have an irrational sexual desire for lemons.

    I try to look away, perhaps there is another way off this island. I cannot tarnish this poor woman with my 3-inch meat pole of justice.

    "P-please notice me Senpai!" she shouts, as she rips her clothes off in one impressive move, exposing her lushous breasts and quivering womanhood.

    She bends over, she commands "Fill me with your love cream, Spermy-kun! Take me!"

    Luckily, I spot a particularily sexy sheep from one of the village farms. I imagine penetrating its virgin sheep-butt as I enter the native girl. Our bodies contact and push back away again, with such rhythm you could mistake it for art. She moans louder and louder and my lap rocket readies for lift off and the sheep temptress metres away chews its grass seductively. T- 20... T- 19...

    I thrust harder and harder and we both meet the moment of truth at the same time. I blast my baby juice with such force that her virgin gutlocker ripples on the impact, sending us both into the water. The orgasmic power that is eminating through us both propels us at mach-speed through the magnificent span of ocean. The sharks are so impressed with this stunning display of lovin' that they do not even attempt to attack us before the inevitable shark-orgy ensues. As we reach the mainland, I notice that the sheer power of the orgasm has ruptured her heart.

    "N-no! Kameko-chan!" I scream in agony through my tears (her name was Kameko btw), "Please don't leave me!"

    "It's okay.... b-baka..... Senpai finally noticed... me..." she manages to force out, as she passes on to the next world. I pick up her lifeless face, and press it to mine.

    "Please don't go...." I say, "I will follow you where ever you wish."

    She says nothing, and as I press the barrel of my .45 against my head, the air of lemon-scented candles tempts me from afar, creating a perfect symphony of senses with the click of the trigger.

     

     

    SITUATION:

    You are taken prisoner by Kony in the Congo, because you didn't stop him through facebook. He whips you every day as you mine for African Blood jewels. One day, he and his child soldiers look away for just long enough for you to pick up a weapon and make an escape attempt, despite a labyrinth of mines and brigade of african orphan child soldiers protecting it.

    Forest reacted to this