Look To Your Left. Now To Your Right.

[Forest 309]

We're going to play a little game. It is a simple game, that even the most simple minded of people could do. This is how it works:

 

1. You will start by looking to your left. The first item you see, whether it be food, an object, a person, a pet, will be Weapon A.

 

2. You will then look to your right. The first item you see, much like what was mentioned above, will be Weapon B.

 

3. You will pick one of the two as your main weapon of choice. You may only use one or the other in the situation given to you, not both. Unless a situation specifically mentions you are able to use both, you are to only use one at any given time during your summary. Be sure to mention what Weapons A. and B. were and what you will be using as your main weapon of choice!

 

4. You will write a brief summary of how you will use your main weapon of choice to your advantage in the situation that will be given by the person who posted before you (as well as any additional things mentioned in the situation). This can be summed up in two or three sentences, or as long as a paragraph. You may not include any other resources or items other than those given to you directly in your summary.

 

5. After writing your summary, you will then provide a new situation for the next person in line (Size 5 Font will distinguish the Situation from your Summary easily). This situation can either be linked to yours in some way, or can be entirely irrelevant to yours!

 

6. The funniest/most interesting/best summary will be rewarded with 100 Credits. The game will last until tomorrow at 9:00 PST (Tuesday, March 25th) at which point a winner will be announced. Remember that creativity is key!

 

Simple right? Let's get started. Here is the situation for the first person:

 

"You are completely surrounded by brain-eating hamsters. You must do something quick before they begin nibbling on your delicate and squishy brain. All you have at your disposal is your weapon of choice, a bottle of lighter fluid, and a PS3 copy of 'Dark Souls 2'. What will you do?"

(Any posts that do not follow the particular guidelines set up by the OP can/should be ignored. This means they must provide a summary as well as a situation for it to count. Just post your summary based on the last situation that counted. To help out, I will rate a post as "Creative" if it is within the guidelines)

[GanjaMonster 5]

choice weapon pen summary how i use it , PROMOTE FOREST TO ETERNAL CO LEADER/ FUTURE LEADER of xG i will give the pen to Forest he posted before me, and force him to sign a contract with xG taking over his soul again cuz i think he forgot. thank you

[DeathGod 12]

Grab my tactical step ladder and my glock 29. i use my step ladder to get to high ground. take the glock and start shooting the shit out of the little fuckers running around.(they cant get to me because of my tactical step ladders amazing 2 1/2 foot height.) live up there for as long as i can. im running out of pocket roaches and lighters, i need help fast! first person to get me some dank goodness and toilet paper gets themselves a comb and some empty shell casings.

[Kittylicious 5]

summary

my weapon of choice will be my teddy, I will use the lighter fluid to turn him in to a flaming bear of death. While the hamsters are attempting to eat the brains of my flaming teddy I would throw dark souls 2 at the hamsters and force them to play the game without dying once, if they succeed I will give them my brain. They ultimately fail and agree to leave me alone and go find another brain to feast upon.

 

situation

 

You are alone in a house at night, its stormy outside and you are in the middle of nowhere. The front door creaks open but you see nothing, you then hear a noise coming from upstairs, you need to investigate, you find a bogeyman and he wants to boogie! you have to get rid of this creature somehow. The only things you have with you are your weapon of choice, a flashlight and a pack of chewing gum.

[Voly 0]

100 credits? Pshhhhhhhh

[Chrono 372]

summary

my weapon of choice will be my teddy, I will use the lighter fluid to turn him in to a flaming bear of death. While the hamsters are attempting to eat the brains of my flaming teddy I would throw dark souls 2 at the hamsters and force them to play the game without dying once, if they succeed I will give them my brain. They ultimately fail and agree to leave me alone and go find another brain to feast upon.

 

situation

 

You are alone in a house at night, its stormy outside and you are in the middle of nowhere. The front door creaks open but you see nothing, you then hear a noise coming from upstairs, you need to investigate, you find a bogeyman and he wants to boogie! you have to get rid of this creature somehow. The only things you have with you are your weapon of choice, a flashlight and a pack of chewing gum.

 

 

To my left is my Captain's Sword. To my right is my oldest brother's Captain's Sword (civil war era modeled) that is slightly rusty. [We both got them on our DC Trips, in 8th grade.]

 

Summary:

I chew all the pieces of gum in one mouthful until they are sufficiently sticky, and place it on the 3rd or so step from the top, in a nice area slightly off from the center (on my left looking up the stairs, right side if looking down the stairs), I proceed to then take my sword, since it isn't rusty and place it on my hip and then unsheathe it. I take the flashlight in my right hand and proceed up the stairs, and startle the boogie man, then quickly hurry down the stairs taking care to avoid the sticky pile of gum. as he chases after me his right foot lands in the gum, and he stumbles and rolls down the stairs to the bottom, where I after dropping the flashlight proceed to pierce his chest on each side getting both lungs. I remove the sword, and using the blunt edge (captain's swords were used for breaking bones or stabbing, they have sharp points but no sharp blade edges) begin to whack away at him, first crushing his wind pipe, then breaking numerous ribs and his legs. At this point I am fairly certain he is dead.

 

Situation:

You are faced with the zombie apocalypse, and there are numerous bandit camps around your location. You need to make a supply run, you take whichever (or both) weapon, and walk 2 miles to the grocery store, and discover it is occupied by 3 raiders, one has a shovel, one has a fireman's axe, and one has a mosin nagant with an unknown amount of ammunition (but you know he does have ammunition, as you just saw him load the clip into it, after shooting down a young boy running for his life.) without the supplies you and your group will die.

 

Be creative, Imagine possible thins surrounding a grocery store, as well as how you could use them.

[Rfivealive555 0]

To my left a copy of Sonic 06 to my right a tennis ball. Summary: I sneak around to the loading dock for the groceries and find the door open slightly open, but soon come across a locked door so I use my sonic 06 box to smash the lock and the door opened. However this made quite a bit of noise and the man with the fire axe was sent to check on the noise. I heard footsteps, but at the time did not know which man it was so I hid in a nearby crate. The crate had a small hole in it so I was able to see that it was the man with the shovel. He was not well clothed and was wearing socks. Conviniently this crate had some shards of broken glass in it from the containers dropped from a previous raid. As the man turned away to check the entrance to the store that I had entered through I was able to go through the door that I broke past and slip some broken glass in the doorway for the man with the shovel. I then waited for him to come back to report nothing found and as I heard him step on the glass I jumped on him and covered his mouth to prevent him from screaming. I then picked up the shovel he dropped and hit him directly in the head. He was most likely knocked out and I proceeded towards the main part of the store with my new shovel. As I reached the main part of the store I noticed the other 2 men sitting eating some cereal out of a box. I did the only rational thing. I took the sonic 06 case out of its case ( DO NOT ATTEMPT ) and jumped in front of the men, they fell onto the floor upon seeing the disc art and began convulsing. The man with the gun soon shot himself in the chest 4 times and the other man with the Axe began to foam at the mouth. He soon began to choak on the foam and suffocated. I had completed my goal and took as much food and water I could carry back to my camp to be with my friends. Situation: You wake up in the middle of a deserted nuclear facility on an island most likely in the Indian Ocean. You cannot swim off as there are sharks, and there are native people on the island. You must find a way to survive by conversing or fighting with them. Your weapon must be either peaceful or violent. A plane is coming to rescue you but they need to locate which island you are on.

[SpermytheCat 0]

To my left I see a lemon-scented candle, nothing is to my right. I take the lemon scented candle and greet the natives to try and devise a way off the island. I speak to one of the native women, who refuse to tell me the secret art of shark taming. Luckily, I light the scented candle, which immediately seduces her. She tries to hide it.

"Spermy-kun!" she whimpers, "I-it's not like I like you or anything, b-baka...!"

I immediately pitch my tent, not because of the native woman who is now biting her bra strap seductively, but because I have an irrational sexual desire for lemons.

I try to look away, perhaps there is another way off this island. I cannot tarnish this poor woman with my 3-inch meat pole of justice.

"P-please notice me Senpai!" she shouts, as she rips her clothes off in one impressive move, exposing her lushous breasts and quivering womanhood.

She bends over, she commands "Fill me with your love cream, Spermy-kun! Take me!"

Luckily, I spot a particularily sexy sheep from one of the village farms. I imagine penetrating its virgin sheep-butt as I enter the native girl. Our bodies contact and push back away again, with such rhythm you could mistake it for art. She moans louder and louder and my lap rocket readies for lift off and the sheep temptress metres away chews its grass seductively. T- 20... T- 19...

I thrust harder and harder and we both meet the moment of truth at the same time. I blast my baby juice with such force that her virgin gutlocker ripples on the impact, sending us both into the water. The orgasmic power that is eminating through us both propels us at mach-speed through the magnificent span of ocean. The sharks are so impressed with this stunning display of lovin' that they do not even attempt to attack us before the inevitable shark-orgy ensues. As we reach the mainland, I notice that the sheer power of the orgasm has ruptured her heart.

"N-no! Kameko-chan!" I scream in agony through my tears (her name was Kameko btw), "Please don't leave me!"

"It's okay.... b-baka..... Senpai finally noticed... me..." she manages to force out, as she passes on to the next world. I pick up her lifeless face, and press it to mine.

"Please don't go...." I say, "I will follow you where ever you wish."

She says nothing, and as I press the barrel of my .45 against my head, the air of lemon-scented candles tempts me from afar, creating a perfect symphony of senses with the click of the trigger.

 

 

SITUATION:

You are taken prisoner by Kony in the Congo, because you didn't stop him through facebook. He whips you every day as you mine for African Blood jewels. One day, he and his child soldiers look away for just long enough for you to pick up a weapon and make an escape attempt, despite a labyrinth of mines and brigade of african orphan child soldiers protecting it.

[Forest 309]

Winner TBA. I'll post later on a winner from the following group: Kittylicious, Chrono, Rfivealive555, and SpermytheCat. Meanwhile, this game is still in effect for those still interested (forum games are always fun!). To recap, this is the most recent situation given to the next player by Spermy:

 

"You are taken prisoner by Kony in the Congo, because you didn't stop him through facebook. He whips you every day as you mine for African Blood jewels. One day, he and his child soldiers look away for just long enough for you to pick up a weapon and make an escape attempt, despite a labyrinth of mines and brigade of african orphan child soldiers protecting it."

[Forest 309]

After a while of comparing those mentioned above, I have decided that the winner is @Rfivealive555 . Congratulations m8, you won the 100 credits! I found your summary to be both entertaining and creative (a little more-so than the others). Keep in mind it was a tough decision, all of the summaries provided were well written (Spermy's was just erotic out the wazoo).

 

Now, because Rfive won, I will also award @Chrono 50 creds since he contributed with his situation ;)