I'm Sorry, Sorry To Everyone.

[Majestic_Narwha 12]

I've been stressed, and anxious because I'm dealing with some stuff that I never imagined would happen to me.

 

to take it from the beginning: I've had multiple kinds of anxiety since I was very very little, GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) seperation anxiety, social anxiety, PTSD. I have mild to moderate aspurgers ect, not my point tho

 

I got caught trading perscriptions for weed, when I was already on academic probation. to be clear, I've never had any sorts of legal issues before.. I thought everything was going to be alright, but it didnt turn out that way.

for the past month or so, I've had either to see a guardian at lidum, my lawyer, court for the academic probation, court for the drug charges, I have a seperate lawyer for both and the guardian is working on both cases. That being said, probably 6 days a week, I've had something court related for this past month. I'm really stressed, I'm extremely terrified I'm gonna go to jail. they've been waving 15 years of prison time over my head because I got charged with 4 different felonies related to this.. posession in the 4th degree, trafficking in the 4th degree, aggrivated trafficking in the 4th degree, tampering with evidence in the 3rd degree. I havent honestly had much time I can waste just dicking around..

I've been freaking out, and my patience is really thin, been taking everything the wrong way. I'm sorry I've been impatient and short tempered. My fuse is really short, and its more being anxious than it is angry. I'm not angry, not at all, just anxious and stressed and I've been really impatient. I'm not someone under normal circumstances to just start shit bc I can or something. Just overwhelmed and scared, stressed out.. I dont want to go to jail for 15 years, if I couldnt handle getting my my ass beat at school when I was a kid, theres no way I'm gonna survive going to prison..

 

sorry I've been a douche, I never meant it that way.

[Forest 309]

I'm sorry to hear that you are in such a difficult time of your life, I really am. That being said, it's completely understandable given the circumstances that you have acted out in any way. I don't mean for this to sound bad or anything, but it's always a step in the right direction when someone admits to a somewhat explosive behavioral trait they may be exhibiting due to overwhelming stress in their life; sometimes it's difficult not to just crack under all the pressure. Not many people would post a formal apology in this way, but it does demonstrate a welcoming responsible attitude.

 

Although it doesn't completely excuse everything, it certainly gives everyone a general reason as to why you may have been behaving this way. Again, my condolences that things aren't going too well, but you do have my support should you need someone to talk to m8

[Majestic_Narwha 12]

thx forest. you've always been understanding. and I think you're freaking awesome sometimes :)

I felt honestly really uncomfortable talking about this at all... my life isnt anybody elses problem but mine. but I do honestly feel bad, bc I'm not usually that way. you've known me for probably 5 years now, enough to know that I dont just blow up and I'm just not all like that, I'm not usually aggressive toward anybody..

[xGShadowSpy 108]

It's alright, just deal with your stress properly, try to relax. If csgo creates more of that stress, just take a short break, recollect youself, then play again.

Hope you get through all this.

[Majestic_Narwha 12]

I went to court today.. they dropped the tampering charge but the other 3 are still there. they're deciding not to charge me as an adult (which they said they were going to, since I turn 18 in less than a month) and its sounding like 2-3 years of probation, or they have a type of jail, a type of prison for minors, and the jeuvinile detention center. since they decided to charge me as a minor, it can only be until im either 21 or 22. Had I been an adult, these 3 could have still been 12 years and they were threatening to do so...... guess im not doing that again, atleast not getting caught doing that again lol... it could be worse, still sucks tho, im waiting for the official sentencing. they're basically giving me a month to prove I can pee clean still and to continue going to therapy, and they'll do the sentence based off of my behavior and not voiding my academic probation ect. not out of the frying pan yet, but it could be worse I suppose.

[Rabid 173]

I am reading over your "illness's" and I hate to be rude, but... Are you a self diagnosed tumblr activist? or are these all real problems you have?

[Rhododendron 994]

I went to court today.. they dropped the tampering charge but the other 3 are still there. they're deciding not to charge me as an adult (which they said they were going to, since I turn 18 in less than a month) and its sounding like 2-3 years of probation, or they have a type of jail, a type of prison for minors, and the jeuvinile detention center. since they decided to charge me as a minor, it can only be until im either 21 or 22. Had I been an adult, these 3 could have still been 12 years and they were threatening to do so...... guess im not doing that again, atleast not getting caught doing that again lol... it could be worse, still sucks tho, im waiting for the official sentencing. they're basically giving me a month to prove I can pee clean still and to continue going to therapy, and they'll do the sentence based off of my behavior and not voiding my academic probation ect. not out of the frying pan yet, but it could be worse I suppose.

Don't do it again. You won't get another chance. If you can't control yourself you need to discuss this with a professional. Just wait until it's legal bruh.

Edited March 31, 2016 by Rhododendron (see edit history)