Extreme Makeover: Jailbreak Edition / Gub's Guide To Jailbreak

[Goblin 154]

Prolouge:

Now, this is a story all about how my jailbreak got flipped-turned upside down. Now I'd like to take a minute just sit right there. I'll tell you how jailbreak got railed in the anus.

In Jailbreak 1, started and raised, on the Casurina is where I spent most of my days.

Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool.

And shootin some rebels outside of my armory.

When a couple of staff who were up to no good, started creating a bunch of stupid rules in my neighborhood.

I made one little abuse and MuffinMonster got scared

he said "YOUR F*CKING GETTING DEMOTED AND ALL MODERATORS ARE LOSING POWERS"

I begged and pleaded with him day after day

Eventually he let me keep moderator but took all my powers away

He gave me a kiss and he gave me a warning

I went back on jailbreak and said "GOD THIS IS BORING"

Mod class? yo, this sucks ass.

All these admins drinking sh*t out a champagne glass.

Is this what the people of xG live like?

Hmmm… This sucks dike.

So I left xG after all the animosity on jailbreak as that was my life on this clan for the longest time , seeing it go to shit really bugged me, plus I wasn't really interested in being in a clan anymore thinking college would prevent me from playing my shize.

 

A couple months later I came back to xG after realizing my life really didn't become too hecktic.

 

I got even more into the servers than I had previously, however I found jailbreak had become a steaming pile of poop.

 

Alot of the old jb regulars left, jb2 was completely fking RIP, and there was something called "DONATOR PERKS" and little pieces of sh*t (@Choritos) were running around doing retarded things i didn't understand.

 

Basically My 1st Life In xG:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVsgJpixFR8

 

But anyways enough of my life story, as a Vet. of 2013 jailbreak days I've seen the line in the sand and I've been trying to find out who I am.

 

Reasons I'm Making This Thread:

 

My Baby, Jailbreak 2, went RIP

 

Today, Jailbreak is run-down, mistreated, and filled with hooligans (Kind of like Baltimore)

 

None of the threads being created based towards jailbreak have seen much results. :(

 

Jailbreak is overall dying, it has lost alot of it's magic, it isn't really fun anymore, and many TF2 Staff would definatley agree with me.

 

SO NOW, I, GUB, THE ORIGINAL GIBBERIN GOBLIN OF TF2 XENOGAMERS JAILBREAK, WISH TO SEE MY FORMER HOME REFURNISHED INTO THE GLORIOUS MASTERPIECE I ALWAYS WANTED IT TO BE.

 

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

(Please Note These are Only Suggestions I'm Not Trying To Come for Your Life or "Play A Leader")

 

 

-Things to Consider

• Do not call constant wardays and freedays. Do not repeat the same game from the previous day.
  

This rule is wonderful, 10/10 I'd kiss it sensuously on the mouth, however, I still feel games can become repetitive day after day after DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY. Literally, once a guy runs out of ideas for warden they just keep doing the same sh*t and this rule becomes completely ignored. Of course, This seems only logical as jailbreak only offers a limited amount of games, the one way we could address this is by brainstorming *NEW GAMES* that are not usually played or are completely new. (These games can be map specific)

 

GAMES:

(Don't be afraid to try something new) Such as:

 

"Creeper Forest" at Minecart (Not Really sure what to do here but test some things out and I'm sure we can think of something :^) )

 

"Defend the Exit Day" at Chretien (All blu's must go to the prison exit to protect the jail's good name and prevent those edgy little red inmates from escaping by killing them on sight) (Shoot the Damn Friendlys Too :^)) (Blues Cannot Leave the General Exit Area)

 

"Mann-Cannon" at Casurina (Reds must shoot themselves into the crater) (BASEJUMPER NOT ALLOWED TO BE USED)

 

"Theater Days" at Everyplace with a Stage (Reds Must Re-Enact a Movie Scene, Play, or Musical Depending on The Warden's Orders, those that are not listening to the warden are KOS)

 

Or brainstorm new ridiculous things like…..

 

"Rock Paper Sicssors Competition" (If All of Blu Team Has Access to this Taunt)

 

"Gladiators of Fallgame" (All blus except 2 (preferably the warden and his trusty sidekick) will jump into the fall game with the reds in order to inact a melee battle to the death until a final red (if possible) is left standing, if the blu fighters fail then I guess that sucks for you and now you are down a couple guys and you should probably continue fallgame.) (This game is best played with the same restricted # of REDs as Pokemon)

 

(***CREATE YOUR OWN NEW GAMES***) (As long as they abide by rules within reason)

 

(I will add any ingenious games that I see work well or sound awesome to the list above)

 

….ORRRR by

 

Being a Smarter Warden/BLU:

By this I mean:

 

• READ THE MOTD
  

 

• Don't Be Afraid To Play More Than One Game A Day (It's never fun when the first game of the day is the last, try to cram as many games as you can into one day while being organized and productive and everyone will have a fun experience.)
  

 

• Don't Let Reds Think You Are A Fragile Weak Little Butterfly Bitch (I mean being a tight butthole strict-fag is one thing but being a "Lazy Daisy Suzan" is what really makes all those anoying little bad at the game rebel-fags come out of their cells the very second you declare "Out of Cell Rebel". If you notice a warden that is rather sucessful or notice a scenario where reds did not win the round try to repeat precautions that were taken upon that day.)
  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=id=ZSS5dEeMX64;t=22

 

• Don't Act Like A Jackass (Joking around and acting like a dumbass is one thing, but being a dick or acting absolutely "pants over the head retarded" towards your fellow Blu's and your RED peers is one sheer fire way to get no one to like you, plus REDs are WAAAY more likely to Rebel if you are a d*ckhole.
  

 

• Be Clever (If you are going to take warden, at least try to be original, don't be that one loser that ends every single day with "OUH OIMA GONNA TYPE A QUESTION IN CHAT, and the first one to answer with their full name, phone number, and address gets Lr.")
  

 

• Be Attentive (Pay attention to EVERYTHING thats going on around you, you never know when a sneaky little RED will come up and shank you to death)
  

 

• "Stick Together Team" (You know that one little F*ckboy BLU that always runs around the map not helping the team out or dipping out when shit starts going bad? Yeah, don't be that little coward jabroni piece of sh*t because you can run on for a long time, but sooner or later the REDs will cut you down. However those that stand together as brothers and sisters in arms are more likely to kick RED's ass."
  

"WE WILL STAND AND FIGHT!"

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=id=WorI5HPWbpg;t=10

 

• Be Fun ( I cannot stress this enough, Jailbreak is all about having a good time and getting a good laugh in. Lets face it, Playing Jailbreak makes you worse at TF2, why not embrace it and have fun while sucking at the game? Don't be afraid to smile a little :) )
  

 

 

• "REMEMBER: No Employee Wants To Be A Choritos"
  

Being a Smarter REBEL/RED

And By this I mean:

 

• READ THE MOTD
  

 

• Be Cunning (Listen to a warden VERY carefully, especially if you wish to rebel. By listening to commands you can easily plot a course or plan of rebelion (or use MLG tactics) to foil his plans. Attempt Kill BLUs When You Have The Upperhand or when you know you are definately goin to kill that Sonovabitch and/or actually get away with it without dying. Or you could be extremely cunnin and watch your fellow REDs die as you get LR :^) )
  

 

• You are Legion (If you see one of your buddies rebel don't be afraid to hop in and join the chaos! There is most definately strength in numbers and there is a hell of a lot of you.)
  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=id=TQq4LjSF2rc;t=38

 

• Don't Be an Asshole (Being an Asshole is one sure way to make everyone hate you, I shouldn't have to describe the qualities of an asshole for you.)
  

 

• Have Fun. (Thats the Point of the Game.)
  

 

 

• Last Requests/LRs Suck These Days.
  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4O71U3SSuk

 

So, you wanna foil those silly BLUs yet again by requesting a Pixie Caramel for your lr eh? Well...

YOU CAN'T GET F*CKIN PIXIE CARAMEL THESE DAYS LADIES AND GENTLEMAN.

 

Lrs have severely been tonned down over the years by rules, now I'm not saying "EUHHH LEMME KILL ALL BLUES NOW AND HAVE A FREEDAY FOR MYSELF AND MY BUTTBUDDY MERVIN MCTITTYMONGER TOMORROW!" is an ok thing.

 

Nor am I saying "Oh lemme kill y'all with valve rocket launcher then we'll do deathrun tomorrow" is a good thing either.

 

I'm Talkin BOUT THE GOOD STUFF MAAAN/WOMAAAN

-2 Lrs Rule-

This rule is kinda iffy.

Now... I know what your Thinking

"Oh but Goblin, 2 lrs is POOP idea. Y U tink this rule suck FGT?"

Well its not that this rule sucks, its actually a good one.

However for some reason people associate things such as: "Invisible Melee Warday" as 2 Last Requests…

 

Really?

Do you have to be that much of a jewish-faith individual?

"WELLOH, GEE WE CAN'T DO THAAAT! MAKING EVERYONE INVISIBLE IS 1 LR."

What the hell are you? That sh*tty jew genie people hope they don't rub out of a lamp?

 

"Turn invisible huh? Well there goes your first wish, pal."

 

C'mon man, I would hope that is not the case.

 

Stuff like this completely takes the fun out of an LR. I for one believe that wierd last requests such as this one should be legal, however must be approved by a staff member with the proper powers to execute such a day, It brings the insane non-sensical fun back to jailbreak, instead of the DULL DULL DULL BORING BORING BORING same thing every day type of shize.

 

 

-Blues Not Involved In Lrs-

 

This…. OHOHOHO THIS... STEAMING PILE OF ANUS EXCREMENT SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN BORN.

 

Oh so you BLUs don't want to participate in Lrs because it ruins your lifestyle?

OH WELL BOOOOHOOOO! Lets just make a completely Un-Fun Rule that doesn't allow REDs to have fun for once, while you guys ruin thier lifestyles.

 

I hate this rule with a fiery passion and believe that it never should have been on the server. Simply because it doesn't permit the funnest/funniest lrs of them all, such as getting blues to play games with the reds (or making the Blues preform a Musical Piece of art.)

 

As a matter of fact it states right in the Jailbreak MOTD that when you give your LR-

"You can choose to play it with the blues of the current round, or the reds (and possibly blues) of the next round."

 

"OH BUT WAAAAAIIIT A MINUTE... ISN'T THAT 2 LRS IF YOU WANT THE BLUES INVOLVED?"

 

This only proves that these rules suck camel c*ck and should be altered to bennefit the Extreme Makeover of our Beloved Jailbreak Servers 1 & 2.

 

• Play Jailbreak
  

Staff, Members, Non-Members I encourage you, Just Play Jailbreak.

 

You will hopefully not regret it after following some of the simple steps I have listed above.

 

I also do hope that Jailbreak once again becomes a huge staple for all members of the Team Fortress 2 Xeno Gamers community, and I would love to see Staff having fun and crazy events here again.

 

Maybe one day Jailbreak 2 will ascend from the ashes. :(

 

Please I Beg of You, Don't Let the Jailbreak Flame Die Out.

 

-Gub

[Jpie112 4]

I try my hardest to be a good warden and i've already complained to many people that Jb seems like a shell of it's former self.

 

 

Get Blu's involved in LR's at the very least. I got married twice and had to sing Scottish songs because of lr's and i have no regrets.

[Barmithian 63]

If you play casuarina you are a scrub.

[realBelloWaldi 1245]

this was pretty dank. :dank:

[Marceline 3]

#Bringbackoldjbandjbnigbutts

*cough* better maps *cough*

[Marceline 3]

Speedofreedom was hitler when It came to jb

[Goblins 580]

Heil Goblin.

 

No, but really though. Kind of sad seeing no one on jailbreak when I look. Max amount of players I have seen recently was like fifteen.

 

I want the days of jailbreak where it was fun. I will think of legit, awesome, and crazy ideas for the reincarnation of jailbreak.

[Dethman 191]

SOMEONE FINALLY MADE THE THREAD!!!

 

But for real doe please edit the shit out of the rules and not make them more hitler ;-;

[Goblin 154]

Other People who may or may not be interested in this:

@kbraszzz @Ohstopyou @metalslug53 @Liekos @Insane @Rejects @ChickenPanda @Tomahawk @beboop @Gwoash @everyoneelse

(Read this when you got time cause it's quite a bit)

[Insane 2]

Ill work my Jailbreak magic ;)

 

but ye i agree with gob

but i mentioned this on TS before but no cared prob

 

so here is a small list of things ill do

 

What ill do:

• be on blue more
  
• do prize days
  
• be a bit more chill on rules
  
• serve some more time in jail
  
• to get people to stop playing some hero shit and get on JB
  
• make more creative activities
  
• stop backstabbing the blues
  

 

believe in Insane

[Liekos 15]

I'm down bby

[Hushpuppy 104]

I've noticed sometime the people on blue team say stuff and the reds do it. That needs to stop.

[Goblin 154]

Hey, remember me? I used to penis around on the jailbreak server.

Tf where the hell did you come from?

[Dethman 191]

I tried gladiator battle with all of the reds (which was like 8) and it was fun as shit jumping in and battling the reds in the running fallgame.

 

How about we make dinner date a thing. It is 2 blu's are the dates and each red have to "Serve" a meal to the blu couple and if there is a tie the warden will make the decision on if the reds meal is shit and he should die or if it might taste good so he lives.

 

Knife pit blood bath: About 3 reds and 3 blus battle it out at a time in the knife pit. You live as a red by surviving till the last red and all blu's are alive or killing the blu's. This is fun if you have 6v3 as well.

 

Pussy Spitoon: How weak are you?

 

Genocide day: A faster version where blus wait 10-20 seconds and reds instead of hiding have to kill all of the blus or else they will die. Makes it a little more fast paced and could lead to funny as shit moments.

 

JailZ: All reds must battle all of the blu's with there melles only and blus can use there gun but must give the reds 7 seconds to live before slaughtering. Reds have to work together in order to be successful on this day.

[Insane 2]

I tried gladiator battle with all of the reds (which was like 8) and it was fun as fudge jumping in and battling the reds in the running fallgame.

 

How about we make dinner date a thing. It is 2 blu's are the dates and each red have to "Serve" a meal to the blu couple and if there is a tie the warden will make the decision on if the reds meal is fudge and he should die or if it might taste good so he lives.

 

Knife pit blood bath: About 3 reds and 3 blus battle it out at a time in the knife pit. You live as a red by surviving till the last red and all blu's are alive or killing the blu's. This is fun if you have 6v3 as well.

 

Pussy Spitoon: How weak are you?

 

Genocide day: A faster version where blus wait 10-20 seconds and reds instead of hiding have to kill all of the blus or else they will die. Makes it a little more fast paced and could lead to funny as fudge moments.

 

JailZ: All reds must battle all of the blu's with there melles only and blus can use there gun but must give the reds 7 seconds to live before slaughtering. Reds have to work together in order to be successful on this day.

 

gibe friendly fire to mods