So, we have been trying to keep this a secret for quite some time now, but I feel it is an appropriate time to make this knowledge public, considering the money has completely cleared my bank account and @Rhododendron and @Nomulous have been paid in full to step down from their current roles as Clan Leaders and give full control to me.
Hello XenoGamers. You are looking at the new owner of www.xenogamers.com and the XenoGamers clan. Whoo!
That's right, boys and girls. I have purchased the clan and will directly assume the role as owner of the clan.
That all being said, there are some major changes that will take place immediately. I will list out the changes to be made in sections below, that way you can easily find what you are looking for.
-Counter Strike: Global Offensive-
The first, and probably biggest change to our community happens to the CSGO division. After running some data analysis and comparing numbers between CSGO and TF2, I hate to say it, but....CSGO just isn't pulling enough money to warrant its existence. So, as of tomorrow, all CS:GO servers will be permanently shut down and all staff members will lose their positions. I hate to see you all go, as you are all excellent people (Except for @Snackbar, fuck that guy), but this is how it's going to be. RIP CS:GO.
-Team Fortress 2-
Ahh, yes. Team Fortress 2. The supplemental life force of XenoGamers' revenue. The heart of the money flow. This is where the future lies, and I'm going to milk it for all its worth.
To start, we will do heavy renovations to the TF2 servers we currently have in place. For starters, Trade Gaming History is getting the axe. That place is a shithole. Instead, we are turning it into 24/7 Edventures, because it is in my experience that memes and shitposting get people in our servers. This map has both, and LOTS of it. So say goodbye to all those other garbage maps, because Edventures is here to stay permanently.
Secondly, we have found that the two main types of people who play TF2 belong to two powerful fanbases: Bronies and Undertailors. So, to better suit their needs and desires, the Pokemon server is becoming a full-fledged MLP server, and our Jailbreak server will become a 24/7 Flowey Boss Battle server. I've personally spoken to the creator of the map and actually purchased it from him, so we will have exclusive access to the plugins and the map itself. xG will become known for the hosting of that map. If you wish for more information, you can watch this youtube video to see how it works:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYG5cF3bfFE
This also brings me to my next point: We are removing the rules about porn sprays, but only if it's yiff/clop porn to appeal to the sexually oppressed masses we will be catering to. So staff members, you MUST change your in-game sprays to some sort of pony/undertale porn IMMEDIATELY.
Next up, we will be removing any and all other event maps that do not meet the traffic requirements. These include Saxton Hale, Slender Fortress, Zombie Fortress, and Surf. We simply do not have enough players joining those servers to warrant their existence, so we are downsizing servers to spend less money.
This will essentially turn XenoGamers into a haven for Bronies and Undertale fans. That brings me to my next point: How we are to handle ourselves here in the forums.
-The Forums-
We have always had ourselves a good chuckle at each others' expense here on the forums, but it's time for that to change. So, effective immediately, anyone who is caught using the derogatory terms "autist", "cuck", "cancer", or any sexist/racist/bigoted language will be immediately forum banned permanently. They will also be barred from using any of our servers.
Chat filters will be implemented on all xG servers to prevent the use of lennies, hateful speech, and profanity, except for 24/7 Edventures. That server only survives because of the dank memes, so we must at least tolerate it there.
Also, we will be removing all sections of the forums that do not pertain to TF2 and staff management, as they will not be necessary. @Vector will be reinstated to full power and will replace @kbraszzz as Clan Leader. @Hidingmaster will be demoted to Latrine Master, leaving only us two to manage the site. We will bring back xG to its former glory.
As for the TF2 staff, since all of you are so unhealthy to the community, you will all be replaced with predominant members of the Equestria Gaming TF2 community. This is basically a full purge of xG, as to rid us of our past, shitty selves, and start again anew, a beautiful winged creature to sail into the sunset.
Oh, and one last thing...if you thought any of this was real, PLEASE check the date. Have a merry one, guys. =)
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