Leaderboard

God, why don't you two just fuck already.

All in all, it hadn't been a good day. Bad traffic, a malfunctioning computer, incompetent co works, and a sore back all made me a seething cauldron of rage. But more importantly for this story, it had been over fourty-eight hours since I'd taken my last dump. I'd tried to jumpstart the process, beginning my day with a bowl of bowel-cleansing fiber cereal, following it with six cups of coffee at work, and adding a bean-laden lunch at Taco Bell. I was returning home from work, my insides letting me know with subtle rumbles and with emission of the occasional tiny fart that Big Things would be happening soon. Alas, I had to stop at the mall to pick up an order for my fiancee. I completed this task, and I was walking past the stores on my way back to the car, I noticed a large sale sign proclaiming "Everything Must Go!" This was prophetic, for my colon informed me with a sudden violent cramp and a wet, squeaky fart, that everything was indeed about to go. I hurried to the mall bathrooms. I surveyed the five stalls, which I numbered 0 through 4(I write a lot of software) for your convenience. 0: Occupied 1. Clean, but Bathroom Protocol forbids its use; as it's next to the occupied one 2. Poo on the seat 3. Poo and toilet paper in the bowl, unidentifiable liquid splattered on the seat 4. No toilet paper, no stall door, unidentifiable sticky object near base of the toilet Clearly it had to be Stall #1. I trudged back, entered, dropped my pants and sat down. I'm normally a fairly shameful shitter. I wasn't happy about being next to the occupied stall, but big things were afooI was just getting ready to bear down when all of a sudden the sweet sounds of Beethoven came from next door, followed by a fumbling, and then the sound of a voice answering the ringing phone. As usual for a cell phone conversation, the voice was exactly 8dB louder than it needed to be. Out of shameful habit, my sphincter slammed shut. The insane conversation when on and on. Mr. Shitter was blathering to Mrs Shitter about the shitty day he had. I just sat there, cramping and miserable, waiting for him to finish. As the loud conversation dragged on, I became angrier and angrier, thinking that I, too, I had a crappy day, but I was too police to yak about in public. My bowels let me know in no uncertain terms that if I didn't get crapping soon, my day would be getting even crappier. Finally my anger reached a point that overcame shamefulness. I no longer cared. I gripped the toilet paper holder with one hand, braced my other hand against the side of the stall, and pushed with all my might. I was rewarded with a fart of colossal magnitute - A cross between the sound of someone ripping a very wet bed sheet in half and of plywood being torn off a wall. The sound gradually transitioned into a heavy modulated low-RPM tone, not unlike someone firing up a Harley. I managed to hit the resonance frequency of the stall, and it shook gently. Once my asscheeks stopped flapping in the breeze, three things became apparent: 1. The next door conversation had ceased 2. My colon's continued seizing indicated that there was more to come, and, 3. The bathroom was now beset by a horrible, eldritch stench. It was as if a gateway to Hell had been opened. The foul miasma quickly made its way under the stall and began chocking my poop-mate. The initial "herald" fart had ended his conversation mid-sentence. "Oh my god" I heard him utter, following it with suppressed sounds of choking, and then "No, baby, that wasn't me (cough, gag), you could hear that (gag)?" Now there was no stopping me. I pushed for all I was worth. I could swear that in the resulting cacophony of rips, squirts, splashes, poots, and blasts, I was actually lifted slightly off the pot. The smount of stuff in me was incredible. It sprayed against the bowl with tremendous force. Later, in surveying the damage, I'd see that liquid poop actually managed to ricochet out of the bowl and run down the side of the floor. But for now, all I could do was hang on for the ride. Next door I could hear him fumbling with the paper dispenser as he desperately tried to finish his task. Little snatches of conversation made themselves heard over my anal symphony: "Gotta go.. horrible.. throw up.. in my mouth.. not.. make it.. tell the kids.. love them.. oh God.." followed by the sounds of surpressed gagging and retching. Alas, it is evidently difficult to hold ones phone and wipe ones bum at the same time. Just as my high pressure abuse of the toilet was winding down, I heard a plop and splash from next door, followed by a string of swear words and gags. My poop-mate had dropped his phone in the toilet. There was a lull in my production, and the restroom became deathly quiet. I could envision him standing there, wondering what to do. A final anal announcement came trumpeting from my behind, small chunks plopping noisily into the water. That must have been the last stray. I heard a flush, a fumbling with the lock, and then the stall door was thrown upon. I heard him running out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. After a considerable amount of paperwork, I got up and surveyed the damage. I felt bad for the janitor wou'd be forced to deal with this, but I knew that flushing was not an option. No toilet in the world could handle that unholy mess. Flushing would only lead to a floor flooded with filth. As I left, I glanced into the next-door stall. Nothing remeained in the bowl. Had he flushed his phone, or had he plucked it out and left the bathroom with nasty, unwashed hands? The world may never know. I exited the bathroom, momentarily proud and shameless, looking around for a face glaring at me, but saw no one. I suspect that somehow my supernatural elimination has managed to transfer my shamefulness to my anonymous poop-mate. I think it'll be a long time before he can bring himself to poop in public - And I doubt he'll ever again answer his cell phone in the loo. And this, my friends, is why you should never talk on your phone in the bathroom.

I'll just start off by saying it's been great being a part of xG, no joke. The rise from Member to Co-Leader was something I never did expect, and even till now it's hard to believe. I assumed I would only make it to at least Administrator, and maybe I should have just stayed at that rank (due to the leniency in terms of Inactivity based off of school/work/personal life). Needless to say, I've met some great people, had some great times, and it's about time I take off. This isn't a resignation from xG as a whole, but just as a Co-Leader (I know, it's been a short run); simply because this sort of rank requires both activity and diligence, both of which I cannot provide in my current state. I will be keeping my Member status, but this in no way means I will be hell'a active. Just a reminder. WHITE TEXT? OMG, HE'S BLUFFING? Now, there are a shit ton of people I could tag who have made this experience totally worth, but due to that I won't be tagging anyone (lolwut?). I don't want to end up tagging a bunch of Members/Ex-Members and find out I missed a handful of people because it just slipped my mind. So, I'll just say that I've enjoyed the company of nearly everyone in this clan. Honestly, there's not a single person in this community who I hate/despise (at least none that comes to mind). MAYBE THE NEXT LINE HE'LL SAY "LOLOLOL JK" I also realize that lately a few of the Divisions have been suffering with under population or lacking new content or whatever other things everyone is complaining about. This is not one of the reasons I am leaving. Also, I'm not saying that they won't get any better, but in order for that shit to actually happen, people have to work together. Even simple things like staying on the Server to achieve more Players, or taking initiative and sponsoring some sort of event. There are a multitude of ways in which you can make the xG Servers a more enjoyable experience, but I've noticed a lack of initiative in the community (not everyone). You don't need some higher-up position to do something, you just need the support of those around you. Sounds cheesy, I know, but I speaketh the truth. Have an idea? Something you think would benefit the community/server? Bring it up with a Higher-Up, and just fucking do it. .. GETTIN' KIND OF WORRIED NOW For those of you who are expecting a TL;DR, I'm sorry, there won't be one this time. All in all, I've had a blast as a Staff Member for xG, but it's time to hand the torch to someone else. Who knows, maybe once I've gotten things stable, I'll be back. But don't be expecting me to take a Co-Leader position again, I doubt it would happen. Shit's too cray and requires far too much attention. NO. NOOOOOO I'll be around for the next couple of weeks keeping this rank while a new Co-Leader is decided to take over my position (require assistance from @@serbiansnaga btw) so things won't be in complete anarchy. Damn, this is one lengthy ass post. See you guys around, stay sexy. FUCKING FOREST, YOU FEGGET. Nice knowing you - Dat guy, Forest

Man it's a shame you're stepping down but I completely understand, being co-leader is so draining, much more then people expect. I will always be glad to know you got co-leader in this community ever since I left, and I hope xG picks a co-leader as valuable as you.

AEGEAN FOR CO!!!!!!!!!!

The lazy vouches are strong in this one. Got tagged and was never notified, gg. From what I am aware of, the rule applies to anyone who leaves xG. It is how it has always been enforced, regardless of being kicked, leaving, joining another clan, etc. If clarification is needed, it can be added. Now, pertaining to the thread: +/-0. This is solely based on the attitude given when the applicant left xG. Instead of taking time away from xG to cool off, he jumped the gun and went straight for a resignation. This alone isn't enough to warrant a negative vouch, but I won't provide a positive one due to it as well simply because I lack the proper information on the player (I'm inactive, remember) A: ?/10 - Again, no way of telling whether or not the applicant is active in the Division being applied for. Because of that, this field will remain blank until further notice. M: 6/10 - Once more, based on the attitude and behaviour demonstrated when the applicant left. I've known this nigguh for a while, and he was enjoyable to be around back in the "before time", but the tone when leaving (even if it was warranted behaviour due to the circumstances) was still uncalled for. Maturity could be better D: Look above. +/-0 for the reasons presented above.

Division: Team Fortress 2 In-Game Name: Raider Steam ID: STEAM_0:1:61992320 Banned: No Previously in xG: Yes Active on Teamspeak: Yes Age: 19 Further Information: I love to play TF2 with XenoGamers, and I would love to become a mod!

+1 for rabid co-leader:llama: He's too damn sexy.

Or you know, get on TS ya nerd. Then you can let a mod/admin/moofin know if it gets real bad.

i love u forest

@@IAmLegend gave a invalid reason perm kick off forums. GG no RE RE

CONGRATULATIONS! You have been British To begin your Loyalty, familiarize yourself with our Queen here. This is highly important and knowing the queen will keep you safe from tourists! Want to get Knighted? There are a few ways to earn Squire! 1. Be inactive on TeamSpeak! To download TeamSpeak click (actually GFYS and find your own link you lazy #%^&) and then click 'Download Here' and download the british client for your OS. Then just install, follow the 'London Setup' guide, and finally, click 'Parliament' and 'Krumpets' enter 'voice.xenogamers.com' in the 'Fish And Chips' field. 2. Be active in parlament! This is one of the best ways to get your voice heard in The queen's land! 3. Be active on the castle! This shows that you are committed to the clan! For a server list, click Your MOM Come check out our staff list to see who is who on the servers, click https://xenogamers.com/threads/17314/ WE HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR STAY! Tl:DR: BRITISH, British, british, British British, English, London, Lorries, Parlament, Krumpets, Fish and chips.

#skype Being Gay FTW :)

Yeah this was too shitty to be true. Stuff this cancerous can only come from 4chan.

*sniff sniff* 'I smell bullshit'

Stop i need to do this fucking essay

I'm clever enough to not be stupid enough to get hacked. I'm not Daddio

forgot this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2-0_2u0A4Y cant have a music video playlist with out this

Never heard of you, lrn2beonmorewheniam. But because I dont know you ill +1. I'd assume you know the motd, you're active.. yada yada yada... *sarcasm* A: 9/10 M: 9/10

@@Rhododendron are bitcoins an accepted form of payment for a donation?

He is the shittiest Co-Leader in existence. Do you want me to list reasons? OK. British You can count the times he has been in Teamspeak on 2 hands. You can count the times he has been online on steam (and it wasn't his brother) in the last 2 months on 1 hand. British "Rain" Forest @@RainForest ¡Viva la Revolucion!

+1 rabid for co-leader @AllFurries

I would like to offically announce me and Aegean's homecoming. We will be your leaders once again in 2014, See you soon xG.

Really, reasons 1 and 4 are enough. Completely unforgivable. +1

I really need to give him [british] chat tag that he can't remove but he doesn't get on CS:S enough to show it >:l

Don't expect a rise in activity any time soon doe. I'll be posting in Hellos/Goodbyes some time tomorrow

well chrono, that's Understandable. I must atleast say this : Thanks for not jumping the gun and directly -1ing me

+1 to rabid +1 those that +1 him

Your post really stood out to me you'll make a fine co leader +1

Sir fury lord von furryton @@DarkWolf6052 please do not rate my post's shit post for you will not like the outcomes.

Don't worry ladies, I won't be around much longer ;)

Thank God! No more brits. Our next target after this will be @@Bleed , After his run-in with Disneyworld (which he hates) he had to go home to England.

+1 to those who+1'd me