Kypari

After talking to various people, family and friends, I have decided that I am actually going to stay as a Division Manager. This community means far too much to me and I know I can work all of this out with the right help, I just have to get back on track again. Truth be told, I actually started declining really bad all the way back in early October when I stopped going to counseling and I haven't had an appointment since. Instead of stepping down, I am going to schedule my counseling again, visit the doctors and perhaps a nutritionist. If I get put on anti-depressants I may have to take a break for a few weeks so I can get used to them but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Thank you for all of the support guys, I genuinely love you all so much
 

After talking to various people, family and friends, I have decided that I am actually going to stay as a Division Manager. This community means far too much to me and I know I can work all of this out with the right help, I just have to get back on track again. Truth be told, I actually started declining really bad all the way back in early October when I stopped going to counseling and I haven't had an appointment since. Instead of stepping down, I am going to schedule my counseling again, visit the doctors and perhaps a nutritionist. If I get put on anti-depressants I may have to take a break for a few weeks so I can get used to them but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Thank you for all of the support guys, I genuinely love you all so much
 

I honestly had literally no idea it got so cold in the US. Here, right now, it's -4 Celsius or 25 Fahrenheit and it's 1am and I thought that was awful.
 
Hope you all stay safe because jesus christ I would probably freeze to death

After talking to various people, family and friends, I have decided that I am actually going to stay as a Division Manager. This community means far too much to me and I know I can work all of this out with the right help, I just have to get back on track again. Truth be told, I actually started declining really bad all the way back in early October when I stopped going to counseling and I haven't had an appointment since. Instead of stepping down, I am going to schedule my counseling again, visit the doctors and perhaps a nutritionist. If I get put on anti-depressants I may have to take a break for a few weeks so I can get used to them but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Thank you for all of the support guys, I genuinely love you all so much
 

I've really noticed the advances you've made over the last several months, and it's clear you've started trying more and caring more.  I never had an issue with you to begin with, glad you've made it to where we are now. 
Going to stay neutral for now since I've only seen you a few times since I've been back but definitely pushing closer to a +1 than anything. ?

After talking to various people, family and friends, I have decided that I am actually going to stay as a Division Manager. This community means far too much to me and I know I can work all of this out with the right help, I just have to get back on track again. Truth be told, I actually started declining really bad all the way back in early October when I stopped going to counseling and I haven't had an appointment since. Instead of stepping down, I am going to schedule my counseling again, visit the doctors and perhaps a nutritionist. If I get put on anti-depressants I may have to take a break for a few weeks so I can get used to them but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Thank you for all of the support guys, I genuinely love you all so much
 

fuck dude. please dont forget about me too much. Please put yourself first though. You've seen how I've broken down to you in pms before. If you ever need to, I'm here for ya (Ofc ur bf too) so don't hesitate to talk to one of us if you need to noodleboy ❤️
ilysm

I’m honestly surprised you’ve been able to tolerate this community of to this point, but good on ya for making the right choice
 
hopefully you return, but much stronger ?

well, i guess everyone's taking a break here, pretty sad honestly. out of all of the higherups, you (and seg), are some of the most down to earth people i've met online. it sucks to see you go, even if i'm taking a break too. good luck man, godspeed and cheers man. 

I butt heads with just about everyone I meet, but nobody else has looked out for the "little man" of TF2Div more than you. Get better.

I don't know you that well personally but it is still sad to see you go. I hope you get better.

welcome to the squad

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
i will miss u
hope u get well 
❤️

Being a furry

It's about time I put an end to this era: I'm stepping down to member. Going to keep this short and bitter. My mental health has deteriorated to a point of where I have been starving myself and much worse - the stress that comes from you sexy bunch is just too much and has been for a while but I've tried to suppress it. Nothing personal I promise. I will actively be trying to avoid xG soon in hopes that I can get better. Sorry, I love you guys. Peace.
P.S - You guys better give @Caleb956 DM this upcoming promo/demo, the man is a legend and really wants to make a difference

It's about time I put an end to this era: I'm stepping down to member. Going to keep this short and bitter. My mental health has deteriorated to a point of where I have been starving myself and much worse - the stress that comes from you sexy bunch is just too much and has been for a while but I've tried to suppress it. Nothing personal I promise. I will actively be trying to avoid xG soon in hopes that I can get better. Sorry, I love you guys. Peace.
P.S - You guys better give @Caleb956 DM this upcoming promo/demo, the man is a legend and really wants to make a difference

It's about time I put an end to this era: I'm stepping down to member. Going to keep this short and bitter. My mental health has deteriorated to a point of where I have been starving myself and much worse - the stress that comes from you sexy bunch is just too much and has been for a while but I've tried to suppress it. Nothing personal I promise. I will actively be trying to avoid xG soon in hopes that I can get better. Sorry, I love you guys. Peace.
P.S - You guys better give @Caleb956 DM this upcoming promo/demo, the man is a legend and really wants to make a difference

It's about time I put an end to this era: I'm stepping down to member. Going to keep this short and bitter. My mental health has deteriorated to a point of where I have been starving myself and much worse - the stress that comes from you sexy bunch is just too much and has been for a while but I've tried to suppress it. Nothing personal I promise. I will actively be trying to avoid xG soon in hopes that I can get better. Sorry, I love you guys. Peace.
P.S - You guys better give @Caleb956 DM this upcoming promo/demo, the man is a legend and really wants to make a difference

Take care of yourself, aside from what I said privately, please do talk to me if you ever need help or want to talk! 
 

Hello everyone. 
So I'm sure that some of you are aware of my dip in activity recently. Well, I wouldn't say it's a dip, it's been on a slow decline for the past few months. I feel like I owe a bit of an explanation to those who've been wondering where I've been. Prepare yourselves, this is gonna be a long (and a bit ranty) one. However beforehand, I should give a small disclaimer: this is not meant to start drama with anyone, so please don't bring that shit here. Thanks.
First and foremost, if I'm being completely honest, I can't stand Team Fortress 2 anymore. I started to get bored of the game all the way back in August, and had a little dip in activity then as well, which resulted in a warning from Seg. I've tried so many things to keep the game fresh for me, but guys, there's only so much I can do. The game is so old at this point, and there's hardly ever any new content in the game. If there is, it's all just cosmetic. We haven't had a major gameplay update since the dumpster fire that was the Pyro Update a while back. And while yes, xG has a lot of fun community maps to enjoy, most of the time, you'll just be playing on the same 4 or 5 maps, with an occasional unpopular map in the mix. That's because I'd say about 70% of the maps on TGH and 50% of the maps on Surf are complete garbage, and can kill the server if we go to the wrong ones.
But even if you get rid of those maps, the best/most popular maps still get boring quickly because they're so overplayed. I've also come to the realization that I can't stand Surfing. Some of you may have already noticed, but I now only come on Surf if TGH is dead (which actually happens quite often nowadays) because I actually despise surfing. Just my opinion, it is the opposite of fun. All of this together has made TF2 almost a chore for me to play nowadays. I feel like my eyes are constantly watching the clock, waiting to see when I hit the one hour mark so I can stop playing TF2 and do something I actually enjoy.
Another reason I haven't been coming on as often is because (gasp, could it be the dreaded word??) drama. XG has always been a clan filled with its fair share of controversy and shit talking and all that, that's nothing new. I knew that coming in to xG, but I made myself swear that I would try not to get involved in it or cause any myself. Unfortunately, that's not always how it works, and more often than not, it found me. That's not to say I didn't always deserve it, I realize I've made some foolish choices over the years. But the point is that I've ended up in the crossfire of several disputes and controversies, and it's starting to get very, very, very old. I didn't want to let it get to me, but honestly it's so frustrating and my patience has run out with it. Just when it seems like one thing has finally died down, a new controversy suddenly flares up to take its place, and it starts all over again. 
Perhaps the thing I despise the most about this clan is (oh boy RANT TIME!!!) group drama. It's always been a thing, and while it has died down recently, I still believe it's a problem. Look, I get it, in life, there will always be cliques, and there will always be people who don't see eye to eye, that's fine. But I think most of it is just so fucking petty and easily avoidable. It's always two groups at cold war with each other until one person does something to a person in the other group or someone in a group gets in trouble on servers, and then suddenly, everyone has to take a side. Then you're either a "gay furry pedophile who kisses up to staff" or a "tryhard troll who doesn't like furries but plays here anyways for some reason" or some other dumb bullshit like that. It's even worse for me because I'm a mediator, so I always have friends on both sides, most of which who can't stand each other and talk mad shit behind each others backs. Most of you in this clan are over the age of 14, shape up and fucking act like it. This isn't middle school, if you don't like someone, be the better person and avoid them. Again, I don't care if you disagree with/dislike a certain person or group of people, that's fine. But you don't need to always be talking shit or picking fights or dumb shit like that. And I'm not aiming this at any one group, every group that I've been a part of has had people who do shit like this. I see not only our staff, but sometimes even our higherups doing this, like come on, grow up. 
*S i g h* I apologize, but I've wanted to say that for a lonnnnnnng time. These days, I've been finding myself losing sleep at night, thinking about what I'm going to do with xG. I fear losing all the friends I've made here, and worrying about how getting a second job will further affect my playtime. I kept telling myself that I can't leave, or I'll lose everything I've worked for here. But then every time I tell myself that I'm gonna be more active and work harder, a week later, my activity starts to dip again and my interest in the game falters. How long until I don't have any more chances to improve my activity? How long until I just become known as another one of the Admins who got demoted for inactivity? Why should I keep holding this staff slot when there are probably players who are far more active and far more deserving of it than me? I figure... maybe it's just best that I bite the bullet. It pains me to say it, really it does, but maybe it's just time for me to move on.
I think I'm going to step down, and take a break from TF2 for a while. I'm not going to quit it forever, nor am I never going to come back to xG, but for now, I need a break. I just have too much on my mind right now, since I am turning 21 soon and I need to be looking towards the future. I want to be spending what free time I have left doing things that make me happy, and make me feel good, and TF2 just doesn't do either of those things for me anymore. I'm sorry to everyone I'm disappointing by making this, but I think it's for the best.
I don't wanna end this on a negative note though. Over the last couple years I've spent here in xG, I've had some great laughs, and made a lot of greater friends. I've learned a few things and learned to improve not only as a staff member, but as a person too. And so I'd like to take some time to thank those of you who made my time here so enjoyable.
To Krampus: Thank you for always being a great friend. I don't care about what anyone else says about you, you've always been good to me and I thank you for that. I hope everything works out well for you and Grape. ?
To Semper: I'm glad I got to meet you and become friends with you, you're really funny and sweet. I would give you all of my tendies if I could. ? 
To Nutty: Thank you for being a chill DL and a good friend. Tell Pichu I said hi. ? 
To Kypari: Thank you for helping me improve when I faltered. I do hope things get better for you, and I hope we can talk again sometime soon. I wish the best for you and your brother :3
To Tekage: helo
To Elcark: I don't know if you'll ever see this, but thank you for getting me back into xG. I never would have gotten back into the game had it not been for your kindness and friendliness. I wouldn't have met anyone here I know today without you. Thank you.
To Seg: Thanks for being so chill and friendly. I hope you only continue to improve as a DL. ? 
To Caleb: I'm not sure why, but honestly I was super afraid of you when I first became a staff member. Maybe it was a rumor I heard, but anyways, I'm glad we met. You are a really funny guy and I believe you can change xG for the better. ? 
To Bonfire: Okay it might seem weird for me to mention you here since we aren't really that close but when I first came to xG, I kinda looked up to you and saw you as a good staff member. I wanted to be in your position someday. Thank you for being an inspiration. (also everyone stop calling him gay bonfire gaming or i bite grrr)
To Hyper Wolf: Thanks for being a cool dudebro, best of luck to you :3
To everyone else that I couldn't name because this post is long enough already: Thank you all for all of the great times you've given me. My time here at xG has had its ups and downs, but for the most part, I really did enjoy my time here. I wish the best for all of you, and I hope we can all still be friends after I leave. May we meet again, either in discord playing games together, or in xG if I ever decide to come and visit again. 
Peace out. ✌️
-Precious.

Sheeeeiiiiiiit

I don’t know you, but have a nice day outside of xG man. You should play cs:go division when you come back.

You will be missed!!!!!!!!

For being able to withstand this community for this long with all that stress accumulating, I congratulate you. But it's never good to do such a thing so I'm glad you're putting yourself before the clan. I sincerely hope you find an inner peace and relieve yourself of that stress and enjoy life outside of the community. xoxo ?

Juggling multiple things at once can be incredibly stressful, and that stress can take on toll on a person. As much as we disagree, anyone can tell you care a hell of a lot about this community, and dedication like that deserves respect. Take all the time you need, we'll be waiting for you.