Well you actually have to, wait for it, be able to surf enough to get those specific buffs. Its not like you join the server than suddenly gain a bunch of buffs just by being there, no you have to have the skill to actually get those buffs, and if other people want it, they have to learn how to surf properly to actually get those buffs. There is still skill involved within getting said buffs, along with that I doubt you actually read my points that I have made so I would urge you to go back and read them, because if you did you would of understood that I am talking about skill being a requirement to be able to beat other people, but by taking skill out of the equation, you get a random shit show of getting lucky and making other players have a bad time just because you clicked and for some dumb reason your shot gained triple damage. You would of also seen the negativity bias which is also another great point as to why random crits are dumb but if you don't care to read my point and more so just post something completely irrelevant then there is no point in continue this argument and explaining my views to you.
I'm almost certain @YeEternalTuna was being sarcastic with his reply.
On another note, I agree with basically everything @mrnutty12 said. +1 to remove crits