Help/Advice please

[DuckiiJr. 9]

First off, I am not posting this for attention. I am very scared right now and don't know what's going to happen. Please do not hate me for this :| I love you guys. Some people think I fake my depression or just want attention to get what I want.

 

 

Earlier I was on my computer listening to music and talking to some of you guys. Then my dad came in and screamed and cussed at me as usual, slammed the door very hard, and then shut off my internet. I got very depressed and cut my arm because he made me feel again like maybe I deserve this shit. I was telling a friend (who is actually in xG, but I rather not name him) everything that happened and how I am tired of being yelled at all the time.

 

I don't want to scare anyone, but I thought of ODing which really worried my friend. As you can see I did not OD and just went to bed to sleep stuff off or something. However, my friend had called police :|. So the police came over and told my parents about what went on. They filed a report on me idk what that does. My dad just told them that I was mad because he shut off my internet. What I was actually depressed and upset about was him screaming and cussing at me and making me feel worthless all the time.

 

So after the police left I had told my parents that the reason this all happened was because I was tired of being screamed and cussed at constantly. And what does my dad do? Scream and cuss at me some more. He eventually told me he loves me (bullshit) and stuff.

 

I went back to bed and 45min later my mom came in and talked to me and all. Then my dad came in threw my phone at me and told me to apologize to my friend. I talked to several good friends from xG about this but idk...

 

I am just really scared about what is going to happen. What my dad is going to do when he wakes up. Please help me give me some advice I don't know what to do now. Please don't think I posted this all for attention. I am sorry for being this way right now.

 

I didn't want to go all into detail, but I thought you may want to know to help you give advice or something :/

 

I'm so so sorry

[bees 0]

If you think about ODing again make sure you OD propper - just saying

Talk to some1 cant be that hard :/

[Penugar 0]

Well i know what it is like being yelled at/cussed at by your father. You need not worry, He most likely has anger management issues, like i do. He will not hurt you and you SHOULD NOT hurt yourself either, just know that we as a community are here for you when you need it. The best thing you can do is put up with it, or wait until you are seventeen or eighteen and move out, i am not telling you to move out that is your decision. I know your feel, i really do. Also don't be selfish and waste the life you were given, please don't. I hope I helped you somewhat. This is just a speed bump in the road we call life

[Rhododendron 994]

Go to a psychiatrist and get something to ease the pain, like an anti depressant or something and don't feel weird, 1 in 4 Americans are taking that stuff :) it won't fix the situation but you will feel much better.

[Foxxy 2]

Shit what's goin on damnnnn

 

 

No but seriously, take a deep breath and relax. Focus on the things that make you happy and nothing else. What you're thinking of is nothing but a permanent solution to a temporary problem and trust me it will haunt you. There will always be people that care about you, maybe you don't see them now but trust me they're there.

 

You're what, 14 or 15? You're almost there buddy, once you turn 18 you are free to move out and live your life however you want to. I know it's hard loving your father while he does this to you, but you have to try.

 

Also this might seem off topic but try getting some sort of job or volunteer work, preferably somewhere that has a positive atmosphere. A good workplace really does help elevate your mood. All that bank too nigguhhh.

 

Stay safe man, just let me know if you need anything. :)

[HaaDron 4]

I know when I'm having a rough time, I move in with my grandparents for a little :P Idk if your grandparents are living (If theyre not I'm sorry :() but mine are always wanting to help me and gladly let me stay with them for a bit.

Also, like Foxxy said, doing something like work can help you take your mind off of it. Personally, I like to lift. Takes your mind off of things.

Glad I could help and good luck :)

[FeelsBadMan 0]

Awww. Bro, please don't OD. I suggest what silence says. Take anti deppression pills. I almost know what it's like, since I have anxiety. Whatever you do don't kill yourself. It's not worth it!

[HighSociety 8]

Ive had 'clinical depression' for almost 3 or 4 years now...ive been on anti-depressants for quite awhile now, and they do actually work (raises your seratonin levels and whatnot). Its helped calm me down and chill me out a lot. You just have to focus on the things that actually matter to you. For me, its my friends, skating, and just being around people who care.

[MineCrack 62]

For one, never attempt suicide. You don't want to die, and if you do it should be naturally.

Two, get help. If your dad abuses you in that type of manner, you can always contact help.

Three, maybe message me on steam, I can possibly help you with your dad...

[RedstoneOre 2]

What MineCrack said; no matter how much you think you want to die, you don't. Talk it out with your family, not a slight run through, sit everyone down and express to them how you feel in detail; if you keep bottling it up you'll feel a LOT worse. Once you get it out and everyone knows exactly how you feel things will pick up.

[Gawd 1]

This is just temporary, its hard but the cruel truth is you are gonna have to deal with it for a little bit longer.

 

However death is permenent. It is a permenent and dark place.

 

I just promise you, it WILL get better. If you feel like shit you can always go to a friends. And you can always seek professional help.

 

It'll be ok.

[DuckiiJr. 9]

Thank you guys I really appreciate it. I guess I should be a little happy that my dad doesn't physically abuse anymore. Today wasn't so bad...but he still yelled at me about everything. He's still not going to be nice enough to turn my internet back on eather. I currently have 1 friend in rl. I am actually going over to his house tomorrow so I can just get out of here. I'm not really sure when you guys will see me back on Steam. And the only reason I'm on forums right now is because I snuck on my moms laptop.

 

Everyone always says that it will get better. To be honest things did seem to get better for a few months. I got new friends here and I got a girlfriend and was excited for school to be over. I looked forward to summer. Then when summer came what did I get? Bitched at everyday. Now thinks are just super shitty. And it seems like it's only getting worse. I have a very hard time believing things will get better :| Summer is supposed to be fun and stress free, not like this bs.

 

I just can't take this shit much longer ._.

[HaaDron 4]

Ducki I can't say I've been in your place and I feel your pain, because I never really have. BUT, the last thing you want to do is kill yourself. Think of all the things you haven't done in your life! Think of all the awesome, fun things you would miss if you killed yourself. It really just is not worth it.

[Dazon 0]

A few of my friends are cops (though they are new to the police department) and from what they said that report that they filed on you is an "accident report" (as they called it) and what that is a record of the so called accident now first time report they kinda think that it was just an accident but if the profile gets "hits" (multiple accidents for the same person) quickly they inspect further if the claims are true certain actions are taken against to offender.

 

Edit: if things get worse then tell the cops whenever you can but be careful when you call/tell them if they hear you talking and than your dad cussing at you and the phone goes "offline" (sudden end of a call mid way through it) that gets the cops very worried

[BrockObama 0]

I can't say that I have had been in your exact place but I have had to deal with depression. What i did was stuck through it and talked to my Mom. We have a relationship where we can talk about anything. I don't know if you have a relationship like that with someone, but if you do, talk to them.